Sonic Receives 47 Speeding Tickets in Green Hill Zone

In an unprecedented display of velocity, Sonic the Hedgehog has received 47 speeding tickets in Green Hill Zone this week alone, according to the Hillytown Traffic Enforcement Office. Local residents say the blue blur has “turned the scenic route into a racetrack of chaos.”

“I blinked and Sonic was past my house, my cat, and my car,” complained local NPC, Miles T. Tails. “At this rate, I’m expecting at least 100 tickets by next week.”

Authorities report that Sonic’s usual antics—loop-de-loops, boost pads, and trail-blazing spin dashes—are responsible for multiple traffic violations. Despite being a beloved hero, law enforcement is pressing full charges, citing:

• Excessive speed exceeding 500 mph in a 30 mph zone.
• Ignoring multiple caution signs warning about spikes and robotic hazards.
• Unlicensed use of rings as improvised traffic barriers.

The Green Hill Council has floated the idea of issuing “High-Speed Permits” for interdimensional travelers, but legal experts say such permits might conflict with Knuckles’ jurisdiction over Angel Island and Eggman’s autonomous drone patrols.

“Sonic’s actions are reckless, even by inter-world standards,” said Officer Vector the Crocodile. “However, issuing him a ticket is like trying to slap a rainbow—he’s too fast for justice!”

Sonic, who posted a video on #SpeedsterSocial showing himself dodging cones at record speed, commented:

“Speed is a lifestyle, not a crime! But, okay, maybe I’ll slow down… a little… sometimes.”